Soel
by izziex100
Summary: Two socially awkward people, drawn together by lust, but with both being awkward, how are they going to be able to cope when put back into real life... (p.s its a first fanfic, be nice!)
1. Chapter 1

The beginning of Soel.

A very cold and wet Shay stumbled back to the bus stop; her hair a bright blue and her Japanese clothes stuck to her from the rain. As she sat the waiting for the bus her mind drifted to the days before, when the weather was better, and the company was, well that story could wait for another time. The road ahead was black and eerie. Shay shivered as she watched the cars roar past. All of a sudden she heard heavy footsteps coming from the down the street, she peered round, pulling her coat around her, a feeble attempt for more warmth, and walked towards the mysterious figure ahead of her.  
"And I was like woahhh what the fuck you doing here bitch and she was like oh you think you're so special but you're ..."  
*CRASH*  
"Awarghhhh"

Shay immediately recognised his voice; she didn't need to see him to know it.  
"Joel, Joel! Are you there?" Shay shouted into the darkness. A silence followed. Sensing his drunken state, she ran down the road until she found his comatose boys lying on the street lifeless. She tried to shake him back to life but after no luck she just sat there screaming his name.

"Holy smoke, whaaaa? I'm awake I'm awake, urgh my head"  
"Oh my god you're alive!" Screamed Shay as she hugged him  
"Yeah?" Said the bewildered Joel as he sunk into her arms too drunk to understand what was going on. Shay sighed as she realised the chances of him remembering this moment were next to none, so she just sat there and enjoyed it while it lasted. The rain continued to pour, and still they both just sat there in a drunken silence, giddy not only with booze but happiness too.

After a while, the soaked pair got up, Shay helping Joel to his feet. She aided his walk to the bus stop and then took him home, still thinking of their time in the street.

She pretty much fell through her front door, with the now slightly sober but still very giddy Joel slumped on her shoulder. She let him down onto her bed, and pulled the covers over him, leaving just his head exposed. He looks so cute all wrapped up like that, Shay thought to herself. She turned out the lights and was about to leave the room , when she heard a low groan coming from her bed.  
"Shay?, you still here?, where am I? What's going on? Don't leave..."  
She quickly flicked the lights back on and stood staring at him for a while.  
"Please?" He whispered "please don't go"  
"It's fine, it fine, I'm not going anyway" said the now stunned shay. She paused for a moment and then walked over to her bed, whilst he sat up. They laid in her bed wrapped up together in her blanket, suddenly Joel couldn't bare it any more. With all his drunken strength he pulled shay into his arms, wrapping them around her waist, and placed his lips upon hers.  
Shay gasped and pulled away quickly, thinking it was some drunken trick he was playing on her.  
"Joel what the fuck " shay said  
"I , I'm sorry, I didn't mean to" he stammered "I should go"

And with that he left her room, went down the stairs and left her house, leaving shay, still in shock, by her bedroom light. By the time Shay could even get up and fully process what just happened, Joel had already left the house. She hovered her fingers over her lips where Joel's had just previously met as she watched him stumble out of her front door though her window, whilst the moonlight reflected off his golden blonde hair.

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**A/N**: Hey readers! This is my First fanfic, which I have co-written with my dear friend Carm we hope you like it!  
Izziex100


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

*phone rings*  
"Hey shay you there"  
"Yep I'm here, just om, eating my break-om-fast"  
"Ok it's me Joel, I wanted to say sorry"  
"Oh um it's fine, I didn't, I've got to go"  
Ergh you need to tell him shay before it's too late, she grumbled to herself as she ran up her stairs.  
...

Joel paced up and down his room whilst trying to figure out what to say to her.  
_so shay how do you feel about us?_  
No, no, no that's way too casual.  
_Shay will you go out with me?_  
No that's too forward, she doesn't like me, she pulled away remember  
I'll never find a way around this, murmured Joel to himself, the whole situation was fucked up and he had no idea what was going on any more. He could barely remember last night. All he remembered was suddenly waking up in her bed next to her, pulling her towards him, holding her. Kissing her. Even if it was just for a moment, but oh that split second was so good, but then she pulled away. She obviously didn't feel the same. Whilst over analysing the situation, he kicked the door open, and left his house to go to rehearsals just like every Saturday.

When he arrived he was greeted with a set of smiles briefly then they all went back to the usual, just mucking around on Carm's iPad. As the conductor struggled to get them to tune the generally hub bub of chatter commenced. I wonder what she's thinking now, thought Joel, she must...  
"My baby!" Screamed Carm, giving him a massive hug and almost strangling him.  
_Here we go_ he thought to himself  
"So how's the girlfriend hunt going?"  
Predictable, she always asked this, and I always answered the same thing, hopeless, but today I could answer something else... Oh what am I thinking how would I even begin to explain.  
"Soooo?" She said eagerly waiting.  
"Guys can you not see I'm trying to tune here" David said to shut them both up.  
It was to be a long rehearsal.  
...

I could phone him, thought shay, I mean I'd just be checking he was ok; it would be weird at all. But what if it was weird, he might, oh it's hopeless. Why the hell did me back away, it could have been so perfect. But he was drunk; it probably doesn't even mean a thing... I'll just forget about it, he probably already has.  
And with that shay went out to Clapham common for yet another one of their picnics.  
No doubt I'll be teased at this, she thought, at least he won't be there though.

"And looks like times up for today, go home and practise ok, especially that bar we talked about Alfie you know you always get it wrong" said David at half one.  
"PICNIC PICNIC PICNIC!" Screamed Carm in excitement  
"I can't come ok" said George as he packed up his trumpet to leave.  
"Predictable" she mumbled as Joel was left standing there in bewilderment.  
"What picnic is this?" He said  
"Who knows" George replied "I'm at scouts anyway so it doesn't matter to me"  
"Equally predictable" again she mumbled, George never turned up to their meet ups, it wasn't exactly a surprise to anyone.  
"Can I come, I've got no plans for the day" asked Joel, Carm said he could and the two of them set off together with Belle in tow. Usually Eleanor would come too, but she was too busy, with stupid school rehearsals.  
...

Arghh where are they, thought shay. She'd been waiting for nearly ten minutes now. It was a while considering she was usually the late one, Carm was usually only just late and since Belle was travelling with her they should have both been there by now. Shay looked through the window of the tapas bar and started staring at the people eating their food, it looked so good. They always met outside the tapas bar, mainly because Carm liked the name; her full name was Carmen; that was the name of the tapas bar too. Eventually they arrived and met up with Shay. She greeted both Carm and Belle with a massive hug.  
"Why were you so late? I've been waiting for ages" shouted Shay  
"We were just ..." Before Carm could continue explaining, Joel came running up to them, with his coke that he'd just bought from a nearby shop.  
"What are you doing here?" Exclaimed Shay and Joel in unison.

* * *

**A/N:  
**hey its me again! I just thought that I would add, that there WILL BE FUTURE LEMONS ;)  
its a non optional social convention. That's all bye!

Izziex100.


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

"Oohhhhh guys, what's going on? Something happen that I don't know about?" Carm teased.  
"No" they said again.  
"Ohh you getting good at the ol' unison thing though eh?" She continued.  
"Oh for god's sake, I'll just go then" said Joel as he turned around to leave. But Carm grabbed him by the shoulders to stop him.  
"No, stay, don't worry this never happens, I'll stop teasing you ok?"  
"Fine" he grumbled. "I'll stay"

All four of them walked off to the common which was just opposite the tapas bar, conversing amongst themselves, completely submerged in their own thoughts. Not a single one of them realised that they had just walked onto the scene of a massive cross country school race. All of a sudden they were all split up in completely different directions. Stumbling their own ways, Belle and Carm managed to find each other.

"SHAYY!" Belle shouted, completely flustered. As Carm recovered her breath she suddenly had a thought.  
"Stop screaming their names "she said.  
"Why?" Replied Isabelle "don't you want to find them"  
"Look" Carm pointed "they're over there, on separate sides of the race, I want to see what they do next"  
"Ahhhh ok, smart" Belle said.

"Shay!" Joel shouted  
"Joel are you there?" She cried out, unable to see him.  
"Shay I'm over here, I'm sorry about yesterday, I didn't mean to upset you" he exclaimed  
"Huh? Upset me, you didn't upset me, I should never have pulled away!"  
"What you mean it" he shouted shocked at what she'd just said, maybe she does like me after all, he thought and that was all the encouragement he needed. Gathering all his new-found courage, he shouted across the race once more.  
"Shay?"  
"Yeah"  
"Shay I love you"  
"What?"  
"I love you!"  
"Come over here, you're so far away I can't hear you…"

In a moment of adrenalin he lifted the tape up and run across the race, nearly knocking one of the racers over in his haste. He felt like he'd been running for miles by the time he reached the other end of the pathway, he took her hands, looked into her big brown eyes and said "I. LOVE. YOU" Stunned there for a moment Shay paused before chastely kissing him on the tip of the nose and replying "Oh my god! Seriously? Oh Joel I love you too!"  
And that was all the encouragement He'd never felt so close to anyone before. I mean he'd been victim to Carm's hugs, and everyone knew those were killer, she practically strangled you. This was different. He held her in his arms, her head against his chest. She could almost hear his heart beating through his top as he held her even tighter. His arms slid down from her back to around her waist, as Shay lifted her head to smile at him, raising her arms to rest around his neck. They gazed into each other's eyes, hers a dazzling brown and his bright blue, and just stood there, in their own blissful happiness.

"Oh Shay" Joel whispered as he pulled her even closer, tilted his face towards hers and bent down, fueled by his giddy state . As his lips brushed last hers, she clasped her arms around his neck even tighter, bringing him towards her even more. He pressed his lips upon hers, as a tinge of cold from hers struck him. They held each other and moved their lips in sync, letting the world around them rush past. Finally what had been so close to happening the day before was actually happening. He looked back at her eyes as he withdrew from the kiss and they both burst out laughing. Drunk once more, but just on giddiness this time.

* * *

**A/n: Hey again, thanks for reading! Please R&R- it means alot, until next time... bye!**

Izziex100


	4. Chapter 4

**Chapter 4** 09/03/2013

Snap. Belle took a picture of this beautiful moment using Carm's iPad, whilst Carm just stood there gawping at the sight before her, whilst tearing up exclaiming  
"This is sooooo beautiful" this had pretty much become her catch phrase and bursting into happy tears was now a signature move. Once the pair had finally stopped kissing, Carm and Belle rushed over to join them Carm executing one of her killer hugs perfectly as Shay and Joel were closer than even they could stand. With her vice like grip around them both she screamed  
"Oh my god guys! That's beautiful, my baby, and my baby's girlfriend"  
"For god's sake Carm" Joel mumbled, "you're so embarrassing" though Carm had finally allowed them both to breath by leaving them to themselves, Joel still had his arm around Shay's waist and buried his face into her shoulder in embarrassment. She always ruined the moment, he thought. It was true, Carm wasn't exactly the romantic type; a fake open, she had too many secrets yet everyone thought she was one of the most open people they knew, what actually went on in her mind, no one knew that.

Breaking the short-lived, yet extremely awkward silence Belle suddenly exclaimed  
"Come on guys let's go to the playground!"  
And since none of them were particularly mature they all agreed and ran onwards the swings.

Joel, being a guy and Carm being well… fast, they ran ahead and got to the swings before Belle and Shay as they gave up half way through and started to walk there instead. When the others had run far enough so that they couldn't hear, Belle squealed  
"I knew it! Gosh I knew there was something going on between you, but oh my god oh my god oh my god, you have to tell me like everything"  
"well… erm, I don't know where to start?" Shay replied  
"aah, I sense this is going to be a long story, I'll tell you what, on Monday lets meet up to go to a Starbucks or something. We need to have some MAJOR girl talk" Sensing she wouldn't be able to get out of this, shay agreed. Plus if she didn't then Belle would probably not shut up…

They caught up with the others and continued to muck around and take photos, until it was getting dark and soon time to go home. Belle and Carm ended up heading towards Clapham South as that's where their busses were.  
"Damn the lines closed" said shay as she checked the tube status on her phone.  
"Well, um, you could always come back to mine, I mean you don't have to" offered Joel nervously "it's not far from here so..."  
"Really? Can I ? Oh that's great" Shay exclaimed  
"Yeah sure, I didn't think you'd want to , come on let's go" he said as he led her to the station. Once they were on the tube, Joel couldn't keep his hands off Shay, as they shared little kisses and held hands until it was time to get off.


	5. Chapter 5

**Chapter 5** 09/03/2013

They battled through the storm as they sheltered each other from the rain, Joel's arms wrapped around Shay's frozen waist.  
"Joel? Are we nearly there yet?" Groaned Shay.  
Joel paused and turned to look at her face.  
"So we're here then?" Said Shay, her eyes wide with excitement.  
"Not yet" he murmured as he held her even closer to him, failing to protect her from the rain. "we can find a café if you like, shelter for a bit"  
She pressed her face further into his chest and sighed, before shaking her head. As she turned her face back up to look at him as he gave her a questioning look.  
"it's getting dark we need to get back sooner than later, come on"  
She tugged on his arm, pulling him onwards...  
They spent the rest of the journey in silence, with Shay practically sleep walking. On more than one occasion he had to prop her up, and hold her to him to stop her from falling over into a puddle. They finally reached his house, and stumbled in, completely drenched.  
Shay walked in through the door and went straight into the living room. Her clothes were drenched so she stripped down to just her top and jeans, which stuck to her body with the rainwater, only emphasising her amazing figure. Joel followed her soon after, and let out a small gasp as he saw her standing there in his house, she looked stunning, her hair dripping and her ebony body glowing in the light.  
"You know you could always stay the night" he said as he scooped her up into his arms for what felt like the hundredth time that day.  
"Your parents, won't they..." She replied  
"No no no, they're away" he interrupted and bent down to kiss her once more. Shay was now too tired to even argue with him, and to be honest she didn't want to either. She broke away from the kiss, and pulled him down onto the sofa with her. He was about to start kissing her again, when she started shivering from the cold.  
"You know Shay, you'd be a lot warmer without that wet top on" Joel said and Shay immediately started to giggle nervously. Taking her laugh as an invitation, he pulled at the bottom her soaked t-shirt and lifted it over her head, leaving her just in her bra. She began kissing him again.

After a heavy make out session, where time seemed to be on a perpetual loop, they stopped for a brief break and Shayla looked up into Joel's greyish blue eyes, all she could see was pure love and lust, beyond a point that she'd ever seen before. Joel's placd his hands on Shay's cheeks and he possessively held her, as both awkwardly giggled. Shay realised that Joel was still fully clothed and said  
"you know, I would probably get a tad warmer if you were naked too" and with that she undid the flyers of his chinos as he stood up pulling them off, grinning madly. She whipped off his t-shirt as soon as he sat back down. Joel placed his arms around her waist once more pulling her towards him again, he slid his hands down to her hips undoing her jeans as he went. Burying his head into her chest, he mumbled  
"Better now?"  
"Mmmm much better" shay confirmed. As Joel started to kiss her breast, as Shay tilted her head back to let out a loud groan.

* * *

**A/n:** Thank you for still sticking with the story guys! I know it's a tad cringy, but bare with! it is a first fanfic after-all... Please review, it means a lot! you can tweet us belleandcarm.  
once again, thank you!

~Izziex100


	6. Chapter 6

**Chapter 6**

After Shay had taken off her jeans she joined Joel on the sofa once more. They were both left in just their underwear and Joel, now fully hard, brought Shay back into his arms. He began to kiss her, moving his hands from her waist up to her bra he quickly undid the clasp at the back freeing her breasts. Shay let out a nervous giggle, wondering what he'd do next. Joel moved his hand to her breast and began to caress it, stroking her as she let out a gasp, tilting backwards onto the sofa, pulling him down onto her. He didn't stop, and she didn't want him to, it felt so well, yet at the same time she felt it was wrong .she must have looked worried because suddenly he stopped, and looked at her.

"Shay?" He whispered.  
"I...I..." She burst into tears and clutched onto him, he was still awkwardly lying on top of her and became trapped as she tensed around him. As she relaxed she mumbled into his chest.  
"I'm sorry, I've ruined it all haven't I?" He tilted his head to look at her properly, then shaking his head said  
"Nope, not at all" then smiling he added "I wasn't ready either; it's ok"  
"Sure?"  
Then as if to answer her question he rolled her to his front, and held her to him. "Yes I'm sure" And with that Shay curled up on him, sighing, then rested there for what felt like hours, content with just sleeping in his arms. Joel stayed awake for at least an hour watching her sleep, as her chest rose and fell with a steady pulse, and as he watched her he couldn't help but smile at how cute she was.

"Joel?" Shay said, shocking Joel out of his sleepy state that he'd sunk into whilst watching her rest. He shook a little, then sleepily replied  
"what's up?" "I'm cold " she mumbled, after all she was still just in her pants, and the temperature had dropped right down. He reached down behind him and finding his t-shirt, he leaned over to her and pulled it over her head. After she'd put it on her properly, they lent against the sofa, cuddling up in the soft lamp light.  
"Shay, what do you think the future will be like?"  
"I don't know, good I guess, why?"  
"Hmm I was just thinking ..." He said thoughtfully "that's all " he added smiling now.  
"What do you think the future will be like then"  
"Ohh I don't know either" he replied "I think I'll marry a nice girl, and she'll look just like you, she's beautiful, and we'll be happy together" he sighed "forever"  
Then he cuddled her even closer and she leaned into his warm chest.

* * *

**A/N: so what do you think?  
**All credits go to Carm on this one, oh and for the record, this story isn't Beta'd so all mistakes are ours!


	7. Chapter 7

**Chapter 7**

The next morning Joel woke up and opened his eyes and the sun ray beamed straight into it, he sighed as he remembered the best dream he had last night where he was with Shay and they were in Cheam park sitting on a tree having a picnic. Everything was so peaceful and mellow, all you could hear was the birds singing and the collar bells of dogs running around. Joel panicked for a second thinking that everything with Shay was just a dream, but as he looked over he could see a peaceful Shay lying right beside him, looking so composed and tranquil in her sleep. _I really love this girl_, _One day I really will put a ring right on this finger _he thought as he held her ring-less hand.

After lying in bed or a bit, he went downstairs, still in his underpants and started to make Shay breakfast in bed. When he was younger, he used to make breakfast with his older brother Hamish, so he knew what to do. When he was done cooking the pancakes he placed them neatly on the tray as well as a side of strawberry's and apples. He also poured fresh tropical juice into a glass and then took it to their room. After he had placed the tray of food on the bedside table beside Shay, he picked up his beautiful wooden classic guitar which was in the corner and started strumming a lovely melody called 'Rosita' just as he heard her call his name.

Shay was in a half sleepy state when she rolled over, she noticed a colder spot in the bed. Worried that Joel had left her she mumbled out his name, almost immediately she heard a really beautiful, yet catchy melody. Still in her half-asleep half-awake state she laid there for about a minute and smiled with her eyes softly shut. When Joel had finished playing he kissed her on her temple, making Shay shudder with a tingly feeling up her body which got her to open her eyes.  
"Shay… you up?" Joel whispered  
"errrghhh no" she groaned. I will _never _get tired of hearing that sound, Joel thought.  
"I made breakfast….."  
"Ok, I'm up" Shay said softly.  
As Shay sat up, Joel placed the tray on the bed, kissed her on the cheek and seductively said "bon appetite mon chéri" in Shay's right ear. As they started to eat, Shay hummed her approval, as the pancakes were delicious! Joel was amused about how Shay was a messy eater as she had a blob of cream on the right of her upper lip, she must have realised that Joel was almost staring at her plump lips and she subconsciously licked them, causing Joel to have a bigger problem than the night before. When Shay took another bite of the strawberries dipped in whipped cream, again leaving a smidge of it on her lips, Joel couldn't take it anymore and seductively licked the top of Shay's lip before entering a deep kiss with her. He moved the now empty tray from Shay's lap and placed it back onto the bedside table like every moment was their last. Shay ran her fingers through his soft strawberry blonde hair before passionately kissing him. Joel's wrapped his hands shays waist and as the kissing got more intense, he trailed his hands up shays waist slowly towards her boobs, giving her the tingles.

* * *

**A/n: hellooo everyone! apologies for not getting this chapter up sooner- my baaaad!  
hope to see you soon, and R&R please! thank you and much love! xoxo**

Izziex100


	8. Chapter 8

**Chapter 8**

After their very intimate morning together, which included a lot of snuggling, they decided to finally get out of bed and watch a movie. Shay started to gather blankets to snuggle underneath, but Joel stopped her and said "here, let me take these down and start popping the corn, you can go choose a film to watch". He pointed to the shelf full of DVD's and Shay started to scan them, she skimmed past films like Inception and Slum-dog millionaire, until she found Toy Story 3. Shay had always loved Toy Story, despite her rather womanly exterior; inside she was still a little kid.  
Once everything was set up, she took her place on the sofa right next to Joel and rested her head on his shoulders. As Joel pressed play, Shay pulled up the blanket so it was covering both of them at shoulder length.  
About twenty minutes into the film, shay was like a dead weight on his shoulder. She'd fully curled up on his chest and was softly snoring, only moving to bury her face yet deeper into his shirt.  
"Shay?, you going to wake up soon, come on, it's not that late" Joel coaxed, with no luck he tried again "shay please wake up"  
She groaned slightly, then shook her head, making her hair go all static against his top.  
"Well I guess I'll just go home then, if you know, you're not waking up" he had no intention of leaving, but he knew saying so would wake her up. Almost immediately she grabbed his waist and started screaming.  
"No, you're not allowed to leave! I won't let you "  
"Can't...breathe...shay let go" he gasped.  
She sat up on the bed and looked at him sleepily. Joel couldn't help but burst out laughing, she looked almost high, and kind of inquisitive, it was hilarious.  
"What?" She said; but he couldn't answer, almost paralysed by his laughter.  
"Tell me what's so funny!" she shouted at him.  
As he still refused to answer she grabbed his hands shouting "Tell me tell me tell me" On loop, he burst out laughing again. She finally gave up, and letting go of his hands, fell back onto the sofa sighing. "I just wanted to sleep" she mumbled; now back to her almost comatose state.  
Joel, leaning over her, bent down to kiss her once more. More gently this time though, by way of apology. "I'm sorry, I shouldn't have woken you up, and I just wanted to talk to you, well to tell you something ..." He trailed of slightly.  
"What was it?" She still had her eyes shut and was only just managing to listen to him. After a long pause, he finally mumbled  
"I just wanted to tell you I loved you" She couldn't help but laugh at his patheticness.  
"You woke me for that?" She laughed "Ahhhh you idiot"  
"Yeah sorry" he mumbled once more, as she pulled him down onto her, kissing him yet again. He sleepily, fell onto the sofa next to her, curling up around her.  
"Can I finally sleep now?" she mumbled.  
"Of course"  
And with that she pressed her face into his chest once more, wrapping her arms around him.

As Shay was still out like a light bulb when the movie had ended, Joel carried her back to the bedroom and laid her on the bed. While he was doing so, he noticed that she was mumbling words as she slept. Joel listened intently, but he couldn't exactly figure out what she was saying. The only words he got so far were 'no', 'stop' and 'Navid'. All he could do was slowly stoke her face and cuddle her to calm her down while he thought:_ Who the fuck is Navid and more importantly, what the fuck has he done to her? _  
Being Joel, he immediately assumed the worst about this 'Navid' guy, his reasons being that if Navid had been a good guy, or a positive influence, then Shay would have mentioned him once. Even if he played a small part in one of her many stories she had shared over Skype. Shay is very shy and reserved with most people, but once you pass this barrier, a lot of fun and crazy comes out; however, despite being close, Joel suspected that there was another barrier before he can truly get to her heart. He had that horrible gut feeling that 'Navid' has something to do with it. Consequently, he hated this guy. No-one in the world should ever be the cause of Shay's nightmares. Not _his_ shay. Though Joel is a calm and peaceful person, the thought of someone else so much as touching _his _Shay, angered him. Only at that moment though, he realised: Shay isn't his.

* * *

**A/n: Hiii- ok so bit of an unexpected plot twist there, even I didn't see that one coming!  
review please or PM me your thoughts and ideas.  
you can also tweet us 'at' belleandcarm FFN wont let me do the at sign  
thank you!**


	9. Chapter 9

**Chapter 9 **

After Shay dozed back into a comatose state, Joel logged onto Facebook. He needed to know who Navid was, before he went into a rage mode. He looked back to check Shay was still ok before asking the girls a favour on the group chat. "Anyone here?" He asked, it was rather late but they were often online at oh my god o'clock. Who knows why though...? "Hiiiiiiiiiiii" came a reply from Belle almost immediately.  
"Hey erm I need to ask you a question." Joel needed to cut straight to the point here; this was a situation that Joel did not want to be in. Especially when it came to Shay: Joel really liked her, possibly beyond most people's understandings.  
"Yeah shoot"  
"Do you know someone called Navid?" he typed with his fingers shaking, as he kept over-thinking the possibilities of what's happened to Shay.  
"Hmmm… the name sounds familiar. Oh wait, I think I know of someone called Navid He's on Shay's friend on fb, I think they used to date or something. Aaaah I don't know, she doesn't really talk about him much." Belle replied.  
_ Date!? Oh fuck. This isn't good... No shit Sherlock, talk about stating the obvious there… Urgh now you've resulted into talking to yourself, great Joel. Real great. Anyway, reply Joel, reply!_ Joel thought internally "Aah ok, thanks!"  
"wait, why? Oh my god, is Shay still round your place? If so, tell her that we're meeting up tomorrow, Starbucks at one normal place ok, we're in need of girl talk" Belle said. Ignoring the first question, Joel replied "yeah she is, and ok, will do. Anyway I have to go now bye Belle!" He looked back on Shay: she looked so peaceful while she slept.

Ten minutes later, Shay woke up and rolled over to face Joel who lied there behind her with his hands around her waist. "Hey" she whispered looking a tad disconcerted. "Hey, what's wrong?" Joel said, with concern. He could sense the irregularity in her voice. "Er, well… I had a flashback in my dream; well it wasn't a dream but not a nightmare. It was" Shay took a deep breath "… scary" she uttered out as she looked away from Joel.  
"Hey hey, look at me" Joel said as he lifted her chin gently with his finger "don't look away from me, please. Do you want to talk about your kind of nightmare flashback thing?" he asked with pure sincerity in his voice. Shay shook her head 'no' and Joel replied "alright, if you want to, just say, ok?" before pulling her into a hug and placing gentle kisses on her neck.

After a while, Joel asked Shay is she was hungry and decided to order pizza, and lots of it. Shay was just as hungry as he was. During their late lunch, Joel told Shay about the 'girl talk' meet up. She expected this, especially from Belle; she was like the 'queen shipper' of the group as her friend Vivvy usually says.  
There were probably going to be a lot of questions about her and Joel; and of course Carm and George. Though that seemed to have died out now, who knew what was going on between them, but whatever it was, by the looks of it, it wasn't much.  
As he polished off the last slice Joel turned to look at Shay asking "Do you want me to walk you there?"  
"Hmmm" she paused to think "no, I think...I think I want a bit of space"  
Shit, he thought, well this can't get any worse can it. He pulled her onto his lap resting his head on hers, and playing with her hair he whispered cautiously "You will tell me what's wrong won't you, when you're ready I mean" She held him tighter and after what seemed like forever finally replied. "I don't think I'll ever be ready" And with that she got up and left, leaving Joel stunned into silence with only the sound of the door shutting to go with him. It felt like he'd lost her forever.

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**A/n: Hey again, please keep r&r ! Thankyouuuuuu**

~Izziex100


	10. Chapter 10

**Chapter 10**

For the first time Shay was early, punctuality was not only terrible for Shay, but the rest of the group as well, being on time was rare let alone being early. And she managed this early arrival even with the extension she added to the route to allow her mind to wander even more. She felt herself fully shiver as she remembered back to those days; it was like winter again, even with the sun out. Shay moved on to sit by the bus stop, but as she got there she saw an oddly familiar guy. His hair was the same dark brown almost shiny black and his skin the same olive. It took all her courage not to scream and run for her life, but as she finally managed clear her mind she realised that it was not him after all. It was just some random guy. Urgh, she thought, _I'm seeing things now, what's happening to me_. She honestly couldn't hack it anymore but just as she turned to leave she saw Carm running towards her, the usual excited look on her face.  
"Hey hey hey, look" she said holding up her iPad, "I'm actually on time, and can you believe it?"  
"No "she said completely uninterested, "no, I can't"  
"Are you ok, you look at tad, err, glum?"  
"Yeah, yeah, yeah I just want this done" Shay brushed off quickly, it wasn't exactly a lie. She checked her phones time; it was one, the time they'd arranged to meet. Shay could sense that it was going to be a long day.  
"Yeah I'm going to hate today as well, don't worry you're not the only one"  
Carm said as she hugged Shay. If only she realised how wrong things really were. They conversed for about five minutes before Belle turned up.  
Once they got their hot beverages from the counter at Starbucks, they sat down on the comfy seats near the corner, next to the window. After joking around for a while, and playing on Carm's iPad, Carm asked, "so… how's Joel, Shay?" in a somewhat teasing voice. Shay cringed at this whilst thinking _hmmm… interesting, I thought Belle would be first to ask_. Not really sure on what to answer, she replied, "Erm, fine I guess." Whilst feeling her face heat up.  
Belle gasped "oh my god, she's blushing, something happened! I know it!" Carm looked at her saying, "well isn't that much obvious?" she got a shrug as a response from Belle. Shay sighed, "Well, it did, and it was really good, but as usual, I ruined things". Despite how much Shay 'hated' girl talk, she needed it as much as any other teenage girl.  
"But Shay, you never ruin it. You can never just ruin things…" Carm said sympathetically.  
"I know right! And Shay, you're the _least _likely person to ever ruin something. You're Shay, the cute, kind of quiet crazy girl. Wait, what do you mean 'as usual'?" Belle asked inquisitively. Shay paused for a moment while what seemed like a gazillion things ran through her mind.  
_Should I just tell them? I mean they have been supportive. Maybe it will be good for me to just say it and 'let it out'. But what if I seem like a wimp, gaah. What if it brings back flashbacks or something -well that's already happened with the bus stop man? Hmm… there was an uncanny resemblance though. Maybe they're related. Oh my, if I just sat next to his relative or something after the dream I don't think I would be able to cope. Ok, deep breath. It will be ok. It will be fine. Wait what if one of his friends is nearby when I tell them!? I should check… _"Shay…" said Carm. _Well I can't see anyone he would know so far… _"SHAY!" Carm said loudly enough to get Shay out of her dazed state. Shay took another deep breath, in an attempt to mentally prepare herself for what she was about to say.  
"Well, it's a long story, but don't judge; I come with baggage" She started. Carm and Belle took a sip of their drinks as they nodded to confirm they wouldn't judge. Not that it was necessary, but it was necessary to give Shay that last bit of encouragement.  
"Ok, see, about a year ago, I kind of dated this guy named Navid. He's like from the Middle East. Navid, well he was great… at first. He was like kind of conceited and keen but he was… alright, he wasn't lazy and he had a part job working at his dad's 99p fish store; so at least he had his own job and was able to pay for us to do stuff together. So one night, Navid and I went to one of his friend's house party- I think his parents were out. Anyway, we ended up participating in the 'seven minutes in heaven' game thing… if you can even call it that. The first few minutes were good, we erm snogged and stuff and everything was fine, it was only a bit of fun. But then things started getting a bit serious, his hands kept moving everywhere… it's almost like I can feel them on me now" Shay paused to shudder  
"I… I don't think I can go into much more detail about it, but he went places where I was extremely uncomfortable with him touching me at the time. Every now and then his hands would wonder off, but then I swatted them away. Navid, well he didn't seem to get the hint, so when I stopped kissing him to tell him no, suddenly he got angry. Like proper angry, omgeee. It's safe to say the moment was ruined by then. He ended up having a real go at me, and started shouting at me. It was scary. At one point I thought I was going to be hit or something. I mean I was in a room with what's supposed to be my boyfriend. Maybe it was the alcohol, it can change people right? But then I thought: if I tolerate his abusive state now, what's going to stop me from the future. So… I told him 'I can't do this anymore.' and then ended it. Yes I probably did it at the wrong time, but I don't regret it. Yet, from there, things only got worse…" Shay took another deep breath,  
"from there, I like ran out of the closet thing, luckily my 'seven minutes' were up. Too bad doing that sort of thing at a part draws attention, but luckily I was able to out run them: and by them I mean anyone who bothered trying to catch up. The thing is, I could have probably survived all that if the rumours didn't start. I mean they varied so much, and yeah I suppose they affected both of us but it was worse for me I guess as I started to hide from life. The times I did seem to appear in the 'spotlight', it wasn't good as I was asked never-ending questions like 'is it true you ran away from Nav's small penis?' and 'is it true that you're a lesbian now?' I swear it was like some sort of journalist fest. So… yeah. Sometimes when I look back on the events, I think 'maybe it was my fault' and that I could have gone through with it, I mean it was harmless fun right? If I did, it would have avoided all the fuss and who knows I could be pregnant right now- I kid I kid. But sometimes I regret it, if that even makes sense. Hah I don't know I'm just rambling here, but hey you asked…" said a rather exhausted Shay from all of her talking and explaining.  
Belle and Carm sat there the whole time listening intently. This was one of those rare moments where Shay opened up and basically revealed all. Shay took another sip of her hot chocolate, indicating that she was done and simultaneously Belle and Carm gave her a massive hug. Carm muffled into Shay's shoulder, "I'm sorry, somehow I feel guilty for what happened, like not being there or something". From there, Carm stayed by Shays side and rested her head on Shay's shoulder with her arms around her waist, still from the hug, and her fur-lined Doc Martens on the brown leather Starbucks couch.  
"Yeah, me too Shay." Belle said sincerely. She then pulled away from what must have been one of the longest hugs ever, before asking, "I'm guessing not, but have you told Joel all of this?" Shay shook her head 'no' before answering,  
"You two are the only ones I've told. I want to tell Joel, I want to explain before about why I just couldn't go… there. But I don't know how and what if he thinks I'm being selfish about stuff and my baggage is too much?"  
"Shay, Shay…Joel isn't like that, at all. He is sweet, kind, and he really won't push you to do anything you don't want" Belle reassured.  
"Yeah, he's my baby! He really wouldn't hurt you, he's just too… Joel to even _think_ of doing a thing" Carm said. By baby, she was referring to the orchestral family tree where, as time grew on in orchestra, friends were just too shallow a word to describe them all.  
They continued to deeply discuss the future, and gave Shay a lot of advice. Whilst some were just them mucking around, in a small attempt to lighten the mood, most of it was actually pretty good advice, and well, Shay was going to have to do _a lot _of thinking on her journey back home. They were laughing about one of the silly pieces of advice given when Belle looked out of the window and spotted some girl making out with someone at the bus stop. "PDA alert guys." She said as she pointed it out to the others "I _do _like her hair though" Carm looked up and said "Oh my god. That's Vivienne. She just dyed her hair purple a few days ago- you can recognise her instantly now. Though I can't recognise the guy she's getting off with though"  
"Yeah but I can" mumbled Shay.  
"Oh my gosh who is he?" Carm asked.  
"That's Navid."

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**A/n: well... that's the insight into Shay's past.  
this was the longest chapter we've done so far, so please REVIEWWW :D -Chapters wont be this long normally, but this is a special one  
Thanks to those who have stuck with it all the way through, much appreciated!**

Oh and Navid is Viv's freshiee 3  
Bye!

~Izziex100


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